The Brokenness of Comedy

 Last night, before falling asleep, I got to thinking about comedy. Comedy is designed to make people laugh, but so often the people doing the comedy don't feel like laughing themselves. When I was in high school, I did a stand-up routine for a talent show. I used jokes from other comedians, because I've never really good at developing stories, even funny ones, into the form of a joke. Everyone has their strengths, and that's just not one of mine. But my delivery was good enough to make people laugh, so that's apparently one of my strengths. One of my brothers has always said that I'm the funniest person he knows, which I think is an interesting by-product of a childhood that resulted in myself and my siblings not being good with emotions. For me, one of the by-products is using comedy to get those around me to feel a happiness I thought I couldn't.

That seems to be a pretty common thread. The prominent example that comes to mind is Robin Williams -- a renowned comedian who committed suicide. He spend so much of his life making other people happy, but was himself depressed. Not that there's a direct correlation between happiness and depression -- depressed people can still feel happy, it's just a lot harder to maintain in. Another example that comes to mind is Adam Devine. I watched a comedy special of his where he did stand-up, and there were several times that after finishing a joke he would just mumble "stupid." It seemed less like an acknowledgement that his comedy is lowbrow, and more a form of self-deprecation stemming from a place of doubt and fear. But then, as someone who suffers from depression and self-doubt, I am reminded of the saying that to a man with a hammer every problem looks like a nail.

I'm not saying comedy is bad or that all comedians are depressed, just that it's interesting that, at least based on observation of this one facet of humanity, people give that which they lack. Perhaps it's a cry for help from a broken people trying to put more of what they need in their lives into the lives of others.